desperately seeking rhoda

lucy and ethel. wilma and betty. florida and willona. mary and rhoda. the sitcoms i grew up watching (and i watched a lot of them) showed me all of these examples of female best friends who were also neighbors. that physical proximity often led to zany, madcap adventures. they got jobs together and stuffed their puffy hats with chocolates. they won prize money with their upside down flint rubble bubble cake. they also endured job loss and and overbearing parents and silly husbands and disappointing boyfriends and why-can't-i-be-in-the-show-ricky. they were a part of each other's daily routines. 

maybe this is a totally unrealistic model of friendship, but it's also a really appealing one.

the reality is that i don't live any closer than a two-hour drive from my dearest friends. over the years i've gotten used to being relatively far away from my high school girlfriends since i don't live near the city where i grew up. i still do live in the town where i attended grad school but, not surprisingly, the wonderful friends i made during those years have spread out across the country to do research, get jobs, start families, etc. even my sisters-in-law are in different states. at this stage in my life, it seems that work should be the most obvious place to make new friends, but that's a bit complicated by my one-hour commute. 

happily, our social lives have been busier than they have been in years lately. we're in a dinner club with my husband's work friends and their spouses, we've been invited into a wine tasting group through one of those couples, and we have great relationships with my departmental colleagues and their families. and i do my best to keep in close contact with my best girls from coast to coast and jump at the few and far between chances to see them in person...

but i don't have an ethel, a willona, a betty, a rhoda. i have had them, but not right now. maybe part of me thought that i'd have made all of my life's close friends by now and that i wouldn't have to work (is it work?) at making new ones. but i know that i miss having those relationships in my life. so maybe the title of this post is hyperbole--i'm not desperate. but i guess i am seeking.