she doesn't have a contract for next year yet, and consequently, hasn't told anyone at work about her pregnancy. the year that we worked together, i was in the exact same boat. i had applied for a tenure-track job at the college where i had a one-year position and due to a long series of complicated events, i didn't find out whether or not i had a more permanent job for several months, when i was five months pregnant. i clearly remember having coffee with this same friend a few weeks before i found out that i got it. i walked up to the table, she glanced at my belly and then her eyes met mine with a look that said, "who are you kidding, girlie-girl?" we both laughed (maybe a little nervously, for me) at how ridiculous the situation had become. i was still cramming into my regular clothes (not surprisingly, nothing makes you look more pregnant than maternity clothes) and had only told a handful of friends--no one in my department, of course.
when i was finally able to tell people, it was so anti-climactic. i felt like i'd be insulting people's intelligence and basic powers of perception if i announced the news as if it were news. i was (and still am) resentful that it felt so risky to be a pregnant woman in the workplace and that i had to hide my wonderful, joyful, happy news (and belly) during most of my waking hours.
one of the senior female faculty members in my department talks (often) about how she had her baby and was back in the classroom three days later. i am (and all women/mothers are, i'd argue) deeply indebted to all of the feminist foremothers who fought the good fight and won those essential victories like maternity leave, but i also feel like the "bad old days" discussions have a tendency to cover up the fact that we have a long way to go.
in the meantime, i hope my friend gets her contract soon...
and in the meantime, i'm absolutely thrilled for her and for the lucky little baby who will call her mama.
1 comment:
i imagine it's even harder, still, to hide a pregnancy when it's your first and you are so over the moon about it. it should be a time to revel in, 9+ months full of moments to savor. i'm glad that, in the end, it worked out (job wise and all) for you. it doesn't for everyone, i realize. i hope your friend finds your fate and faces the same happy circumstances.
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